she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
