Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
