I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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