I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So squirting runs in the family.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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