it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
