oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
not ubering you a puppy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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