Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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