Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
