Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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