Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
