Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
