My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
its not stalking. its research.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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