Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
