dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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