white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need to sanitize my soul.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize