he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Four minutes until I can fart!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
