the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
