New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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