I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize