I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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