We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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