would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have fence marks all over my body
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
