WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
