You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is my gift to your gina
I just want nice things and good sex
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
