If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
