I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
