There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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