The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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