FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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