One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
