i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize