We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
