MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
