why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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