Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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