don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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