She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
