I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
