I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
