new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you remember whose house we're in?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
