I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
