my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
