can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We need to get me chipped asap
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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