We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
