Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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