first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
