so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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