I wanna passion pit in your ass
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
