i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
