We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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