ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize