how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize