Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize