Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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