He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
