:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
