That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
