You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
