I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
