I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
