I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
