i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
