Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
